If you come to Thailand and spend some time around Khao San Road, you’ll probably see the guys selling deep fried scorpions on a stick. Normally, I just walk right on past, thinking to myself, “That is SO just for the tourists!” But it recently occurred to me that it might make a good entry for my food blog, so I decided to give in and buy a deep fried scorpion tonight. The people selling the scorpions tell you that they cost 100 Baht, but you are expected to barter the price down. I “managed” to get them down to 80 Baht, but I found out later that it should have actually cost just 20 Baht. Live and learn, amirite?
So I bought this scorpion and I’m walking around holding it out in front of me because, frankly, I was scared shitless of putting the thing in my mouth. I mean, I KNOW it was already dead and couldn’t actually hurt me but, I mean, scorpion….
Eventually, I walked past some nice massagee ladies, and they expressed interest in my scorpion. I admitted I was too afraid to eat it and offered it to them. They said, “Oh, no no no no no. We don’t want to eat that, either. We’re just wondering what it’s like and curious to see you eat it.” So with a little encouragement with the massagee women, on the count of three, I put the thing in my mouth. Well, okay, I put just the tip of the tail in my mouth. And it was…. salty. And crunchy. The massagee ladies congratulated me and I went on my way chewing on my scorpion tail and all the while, all I could think was, “HOLY SHIT, I HAVE A SCORPION IN MY MOUTH!”
When I got back to my guesthouse, my scorpion was mostly intact, sans tail. My guesthouse also doubles as a tour bus collection point, and there was an Israeli guy sitting there in the lobby of my guesthouse waiting for a bus to Chiang Mai. I could see him eyeing my scorpion, so I generously offered him one of the pincers, at which point he dove into his backpack and retrieved a copy of the Torah, presumably to signal he didn’t think the scorpion would be kosher. Meh, too bad. More scorpion for me, I guess.
Truth be told, I ended up only eating the tail and one of the pincers and then throwing the rest of the scorpion for which I’d paid four times too much money away, and washing it down with some fresh pineapple which I’d bought from a different vendor.